I've blogged a lot and even already summed up this dying year, so I'll just add:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhuG2hCJtsk
Be Actively Nice.
Happy 2011, everyone!
First They Came
11 months ago
Thursday, December 30, 2010
"Services"
When I was able-bodied I knew people who weren't and received services. Like housekeeping, errand-running, etc. And I thought, "That's nice; they get their needs met." Then I became disabled and needed services.
It took a while, for one thing. Several Dr appointments til I cried that I couldn't keep my home clean or do laundry anymore. Then the doc referred me to services, in the form of our local VNA. "That's a Godsend," I thought. And well, in a way it is. When all runs smoothly. Problem is, that's the exception, not the rule.
Every time my regular aide is off work my life goes to hell.
Ya see, there are things that Have To Be Done on certain days. Bill paying, meds, shopping... all have schedules in my life because that's how it has to be or I won't be able to function. The laws and regs surrounding meds are precise and stringent. Being one day late or early with anything will ruin your whole year. I'm not kidding. And any change of plans is a domino run.
First of all, I didn't know my regular aide was off this week. I saw her Friday and she said, "See you Tuesday." Last domino standing in place.
I had a brief visit on Tuesday but not everything was done. Still, an aide should be coming Friday, and that's when meds are filled and picked up, but it has to be done Friday. No later, no earlier. Medicare rules all.
Then yesterday the Dr's office calls to say my scripts have to be picked up today because they're closed on New Year's Eve. Here is the knocker domino. Why? Because getting anyone from the agency will be iffy. Because today- Thursday- is not my regular day for an aide. And because I was planning having dinner with a friend who has no time and today was The Evening She Could. She'd be here at 5:30, because the front door gets locked at 6 and she has to make it an early night anyway. But at 7:45 this morning I get a call (while I'm in the bathroom) from an aide who says she'll be here at 5 for a 3 hour shift- too late for the dr's office, or even the post office, but late enough to wreck my dinner plans. And she hangs up before I reach the phone, not leaving a number.
I call the office to speak to a scheduler, and get the voicemail, natch. 3 hours go by & I hear nothing.
In the meantime, a friend sweetly volunteers to pick up the scripts today and drop them at the pharmacy to be filled tomorrow. Worse case, I'll have to call & ask for the pharmacy to deliver tomorrow. Phew, that one's covered, thanks Cam!
Then I call my dinner guest & apologize my butt off for cancelling. I can't have guests here, by rule, when the aide is here. We won't be able to get together til the end of January now. But c'est la vie. Dammit.
I call the VNA again to tell them all this. They've already rescheduled yet another aide to come earlier today, but have no time frame to give me of her arrival and never tried to call to tell me of this new plan and neither had the aide. In light of everything now, the scheduler says she'll try to cancel the aide coming today altogether and get someone to come tomorrow, as the filled meds need to be picked up & I still need things done. There's been a package at the PO since last Friday that the Tuesday fill-in aide said she had no time to collect, for one thing. So yes, great, send me someone tomorrow.
Except my dinner guest, hours later, is unreachable. See you at the end of January, Ellen.
This is the craziness of disability. When you have to rely on others, you're screwed. It all still would've been manageable had the Dr's office let me know more than one day ahead that they would be closed. I would've scrambled to get covered and none of the above would've happened. They've had this holiday planned for months. I call them every 2 weeks- they couldn't have put the closure on their damned automated answering drone? My ass.
Services look very different when you're on the other side. You can't know that til you need them, I guess.
Well, I gotta go. Lots of dominoes to stand for the next knockdown.
It took a while, for one thing. Several Dr appointments til I cried that I couldn't keep my home clean or do laundry anymore. Then the doc referred me to services, in the form of our local VNA. "That's a Godsend," I thought. And well, in a way it is. When all runs smoothly. Problem is, that's the exception, not the rule.
Every time my regular aide is off work my life goes to hell.
Ya see, there are things that Have To Be Done on certain days. Bill paying, meds, shopping... all have schedules in my life because that's how it has to be or I won't be able to function. The laws and regs surrounding meds are precise and stringent. Being one day late or early with anything will ruin your whole year. I'm not kidding. And any change of plans is a domino run.
First of all, I didn't know my regular aide was off this week. I saw her Friday and she said, "See you Tuesday." Last domino standing in place.
I had a brief visit on Tuesday but not everything was done. Still, an aide should be coming Friday, and that's when meds are filled and picked up, but it has to be done Friday. No later, no earlier. Medicare rules all.
Then yesterday the Dr's office calls to say my scripts have to be picked up today because they're closed on New Year's Eve. Here is the knocker domino. Why? Because getting anyone from the agency will be iffy. Because today- Thursday- is not my regular day for an aide. And because I was planning having dinner with a friend who has no time and today was The Evening She Could. She'd be here at 5:30, because the front door gets locked at 6 and she has to make it an early night anyway. But at 7:45 this morning I get a call (while I'm in the bathroom) from an aide who says she'll be here at 5 for a 3 hour shift- too late for the dr's office, or even the post office, but late enough to wreck my dinner plans. And she hangs up before I reach the phone, not leaving a number.
I call the office to speak to a scheduler, and get the voicemail, natch. 3 hours go by & I hear nothing.
In the meantime, a friend sweetly volunteers to pick up the scripts today and drop them at the pharmacy to be filled tomorrow. Worse case, I'll have to call & ask for the pharmacy to deliver tomorrow. Phew, that one's covered, thanks Cam!
Then I call my dinner guest & apologize my butt off for cancelling. I can't have guests here, by rule, when the aide is here. We won't be able to get together til the end of January now. But c'est la vie. Dammit.
I call the VNA again to tell them all this. They've already rescheduled yet another aide to come earlier today, but have no time frame to give me of her arrival and never tried to call to tell me of this new plan and neither had the aide. In light of everything now, the scheduler says she'll try to cancel the aide coming today altogether and get someone to come tomorrow, as the filled meds need to be picked up & I still need things done. There's been a package at the PO since last Friday that the Tuesday fill-in aide said she had no time to collect, for one thing. So yes, great, send me someone tomorrow.
Except my dinner guest, hours later, is unreachable. See you at the end of January, Ellen.
This is the craziness of disability. When you have to rely on others, you're screwed. It all still would've been manageable had the Dr's office let me know more than one day ahead that they would be closed. I would've scrambled to get covered and none of the above would've happened. They've had this holiday planned for months. I call them every 2 weeks- they couldn't have put the closure on their damned automated answering drone? My ass.
Services look very different when you're on the other side. You can't know that til you need them, I guess.
Well, I gotta go. Lots of dominoes to stand for the next knockdown.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
A Quickie
Not one to really recommend a TV habit, but...
The BFF told me about a woman on the food channel who, she says, is just what she pictures me as when I was a cook:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/secrets-of-a-restaurant-chef2/video/index.html
Funny thing is, she really is a lot like me at that age, even down to the platinum hair I had 30 years ago. Though I think she's a bit older than I was then. Generally, I detest TV cooks (except for St. Julia & occasionally Bourdain) but she's pretty damn good, IMHO. But that's prolly cuz she's a lot like me. ;)
The BFF told me about a woman on the food channel who, she says, is just what she pictures me as when I was a cook:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/secrets-of-a-restaurant-chef2/video/index.html
Funny thing is, she really is a lot like me at that age, even down to the platinum hair I had 30 years ago. Though I think she's a bit older than I was then. Generally, I detest TV cooks (except for St. Julia & occasionally Bourdain) but she's pretty damn good, IMHO. But that's prolly cuz she's a lot like me. ;)
The Year of Best Laid Plans
We had a snowstorm, the first of the winter. It started Sunday and kept going til Monday afternoon. Chels had to get back to college, so we didn't get to hang. Waah. Her terrific Dad brought my Xmas present in her stead, and I sent hers back home with him. They really are a great family.
But this has been a whole year of plans gone astray. Part of that has to do with being disabled, and I've got a whole chapter in the Gimp's Guide about it. Part of that is also due to life's unpredictability. Life has speeded up in our nanosecond world. Having many things in life adds more possibilities of things jacking up. It's a lesson in rolling with it. Patience is a virtue, and virtues are more elusive to gain than vices.
I'm really loving getting older. I've gotten quicker to let go of things and slower to start things up. I'm more cautious, which is a huge improvement over the, "Yeah! Let's do it!" hedonism of youth. Since I don't jump up, I don't fall down. That was a hard one to learn. Maintaining that healthy distance has served me well. And when I get worked up now, there's really good reason for it. Likewise in letting go. It takes a lot of the drama out of life. It's the drama that makes you old. Now I have time to play again and I'm younger for it.
So this has been a good year of acceptance and learning. Not very exciting to others, I know, but it's tremendously exciting to me. I'm happier with myself than I've ever been. As we all know, "Ha-ppiness is hard to find." ;)
But this has been a whole year of plans gone astray. Part of that has to do with being disabled, and I've got a whole chapter in the Gimp's Guide about it. Part of that is also due to life's unpredictability. Life has speeded up in our nanosecond world. Having many things in life adds more possibilities of things jacking up. It's a lesson in rolling with it. Patience is a virtue, and virtues are more elusive to gain than vices.
I'm really loving getting older. I've gotten quicker to let go of things and slower to start things up. I'm more cautious, which is a huge improvement over the, "Yeah! Let's do it!" hedonism of youth. Since I don't jump up, I don't fall down. That was a hard one to learn. Maintaining that healthy distance has served me well. And when I get worked up now, there's really good reason for it. Likewise in letting go. It takes a lot of the drama out of life. It's the drama that makes you old. Now I have time to play again and I'm younger for it.
So this has been a good year of acceptance and learning. Not very exciting to others, I know, but it's tremendously exciting to me. I'm happier with myself than I've ever been. As we all know, "Ha-ppiness is hard to find." ;)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
And Those Songs of Christmastime
What the Hell was I thinking, to make plans on Boxing Day after this past week? I'm crazy or stupid or both. Stevil's eggnog always kicks my ass the next day. It's a tradition. The tradition continues. My head's caved in.
Well, before Chels gets here, I just wanted to throw some threads off the net about Christmas music. Firstly, is a good article from the Guardian (what a surprise, eh?):
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/dec/26/best-christmas-songs
And a thread from a local website:
http://www.ibrattleboro.com/article.php/20101223165130335#comments
For the iBratt article you'll need to scroll up to read the story; I'm just too much of a mess to go thru the whole deal.
Coffee and shower haven't helped; I fear hair of the dog is required. Yeesh.
Also, I have to say the Christmas satiation point has been reached; I now have 4 books that I'm dying to read along with a curious magazine. If I don't blog for a week you'll know what I'm doing.
And one last thing; here's The Most Christmas-sy, non-holiday story that says what the whole deal and the rest of life, would be like, if we will all Be Actively Nice:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12043294
Well, another last thing if the above doesn't get your ass moving to help someone else there's a bunch of stuff to inspire even the most self-centered:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40153870/#40808229
Well, before Chels gets here, I just wanted to throw some threads off the net about Christmas music. Firstly, is a good article from the Guardian (what a surprise, eh?):
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/dec/26/best-christmas-songs
And a thread from a local website:
http://www.ibrattleboro.com/article.php/20101223165130335#comments
For the iBratt article you'll need to scroll up to read the story; I'm just too much of a mess to go thru the whole deal.
Coffee and shower haven't helped; I fear hair of the dog is required. Yeesh.
Also, I have to say the Christmas satiation point has been reached; I now have 4 books that I'm dying to read along with a curious magazine. If I don't blog for a week you'll know what I'm doing.
And one last thing; here's The Most Christmas-sy, non-holiday story that says what the whole deal and the rest of life, would be like, if we will all Be Actively Nice:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12043294
Well, another last thing if the above doesn't get your ass moving to help someone else there's a bunch of stuff to inspire even the most self-centered:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40153870/#40808229
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