Raising Cane

After nearly 5 years of Wally the Walker, a cane isn't cutting it. It makes carrying anything- like a cup of coffee- difficult. It has a single point on which to balance, not so great when one gimps as hard as I do. And forget carrying a dish or bowl. At least I won't be thinking about dieting, because making food with one hand as I hold myself up with the other is nearly impossible. I don't have a kitchen table and chairs, this place is too small for them. And Gal Friday left before I remembered to ask her a second time to borrow a chair through the office. So this is it until Friday when I borrow a chair. Meh. Another opportunity to fast.

Using a cane reminds me of Pop, our mother's fosterfather who lived with us when we were young. He had a cane for every occasion. Bamboo for the summer, carved chestnut for formals, one with a whistle for night strolls, he must've had a dozen. We'd watch him, in his 80s then, jaywalk across the street right through Brooklyn traffic, waving his cane in the air, threatening the drivers. My mother would clutch her throat and she'd mutter a string of obscenities until he reached the sidewalk. There was no stopping him, no changing him. Pop was a force. It's a miracle he was never killed but this was in the early 60s, before road rage became common. Americans didn't shoot each other every day back then. I think if he tried it now he'd be waving that cane at St. Peter and never see the sidewalk again.

So yeah, the cane isn't a sure thing. I even have my doubts about it going to the Greg concert. It's great in a pinch and I'm thankful I have it or I wouldn't even make it to the sitting room, but my body seems too twisted for just a cane's support. I'm still getting used to it, and having to lean on an injured arm colors the venture, so that opinion may change. We'll see.

Happily, the walker I'm ordering is lighter than the last one. Though the delivery time says "2-4 weeks", the comments from those who've reviewed it say they received theirs in 2-6 days. I sincerely hope it's no more than a week.

I've screwed myself up more than I thought, and this is going to need real rest to recover. The falls I learned in Karate class a thousand years ago do save one from grave injury, but what they don't tell you is that after you've used them a hundred times, you get hurt by reinjuring the arm you use to break the fall.. There's a limit to what an arm will take no matter how "correct" the fall is. So my advice is, "Don't fall."

And as for Old Wally, he did go to the Community Room today, where he was snapped up right away by a woman who said she could rehab him. Good luck to her. And Wally. Long may he roll. Elsewhere.