Good Times, Bad Times

 There is balance. But somehow it's not enough.

My eye doc says I'm still 20/20, 4 years later.

Aide #16 is done. I was to interview a possible #17 today, but they didn't show up or even call.

I despise being disabled. I hate having to depend on other people for stupid things like shopping, vacuuming, laundry, mopping... These are things that are making me silent and bitter. Nobody wants to hear it. I don't even want to say it, because what's the point? It's obvious this all sucks. So I don't talk about it. But then there's this here blog, where I've opened many veins over a decade and a half.

It's generally not easy getting old. I swear my body started falling apart at 30, when I saw my first arthritis specialist. But it's been a "slow fade" as my exboss The Meathead put on my disability form. And to end up in a wheelchair when in my dreams I still run... 

I loved to run.

I loved a lot of things, and a lot of things are gone.

My wise motherinlaw once said, "Life is a series of losses." Yes it is, Roz.

And so there's a lot of acceptance needed. Not crying and whining, just quiet acceptance. And with that acceptance is also the special acceptance annex of friends doing things I can't do.That isn't easy either. I'm a proud Brooklyn woman who was raised to be the charity giver, not the taker. It's a very different view on the other side. A lot to swallow.

With all that, it's a miracle I have several kind and caring friends who are eager to help out. And for that I'm truly grateful.

And now I'll shut up and not let myself get bitter.

x

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Austanspace: the Final Frontier

So Musk has bought Twatter and is proceeding to stink up the place. Since he's become a MAGAt, it will no doubt become another MeWe, full of fascists and stupidity.  Well that's about it for social media. When it comes to the point that you have to give up personal info just to log into their craptastic site; when your 'free speech' is threatened and subject to approval by, and privately owned by, some rich freak, screw it. I intend to treat it as it deserves. hehehe

Okie cousin was here, sparkles and spandex and very much like Meemaw on "Young Sheldon" but with a platinum page boy. There was much "getting to know you" since we had 6 days and nobody came out with her. I may go into detail at some point, but we have more in common than we knew.

Halloween is Monday, Samhain following. It's like this last month folded  and reopened a couple weeks later. This year I'm dressing up as the elderly Luna Lovegood. still in her Ravenclaw robes, her wild blonde hair and weird earrings flying.

Late Summer

 There are certain tenets I stand by.

1) Things went to Hell after Bonzo died, September 25th, 1980.

2) Nothing good comes of Rudy's.

3) Take care of your teeth and feet.

4) We are pretty ignorant, quite hypocritical, and know very little for sure.

5) Hot pans cool down if they get out of the heat.

6)  The whole world's got PTSD

 

 One of the things I gave up is online arguing. It's easy if you're off Fecebook (and I hope you are). In general, I've grown to care less and less what anyone else thinks. So if they don't agree, who cares. If  I still argue with you, by email or in real face, you're a true friend. If you continually try to provoke or be an ass to me, you'll be gone like Poof! It makes life feel nicer.

It's really been One Damn Thing After Another for many years now. People who weren't alive when the Twin Towers fell are about old enough to drink alcohol. And we've been in a horrific, stupid, and costly war their whole lives.  Terrorism, foreign and domestic, rules. We are devolving, for a time. But all things must pass, and chances are we'll return to inert mediocrity in the end. After all the bangs and booms will come exhaustive quiet and a low farting sound. Then we'll carry on with the tame squabbles.

My new Gal Friday and I cleaned all 32 of the hanging pictures in my front room. Next comes the bookcases and the many things in them. After that, the real Fall cleaning before windows are shut for the duration. The year is moving ahead, the planet spins, I'm about halfway done with Yuletide shopping. Planning food for entertaining this Fall. Looking forward to my cousin visiting. Helping a young woman who's writing an article about home aides. Of course I wonder what's in Ivana's casket besides her, but

In the long run

 x

Might as Well Dump

In the post-Herman days of the Childe, the various characters that worked there reconfigured and carried on. At the cash register, and maestro of the mayhem was Steve Teischer. A big old Brooklynese Jewish hippie with sharp edges and great humor, Steve stepped into Herman's role with no ties to The Craft. He didn't disrespect it, and now and then credited it, but he never partook. He did what he could to keep the place running. He called himself and me The Dumpster Sisters because everything there ended up on our heads. Steve and The Childe are long gone now, but I continued to uphold the title for a couple decades.  

That was, until I got away from being a working stiff, and then escaped living on ramen noodles, and at last cleared some people out of my life that lived in perpetually dirty diapers. It's amazing how much nicer you and life can be when the psychic vampires are gone. All of a sudden you aren't carrying people's crises for them and they aren't sucking the energy outta you. You dumped it all and things lightened up.

And that energy you now have can go into good works, good ideas, and good people. 

This has been a good week. I have hope that truth will out, that people get their comeuppence, and that maybe a little sanity will return. Maybe things aren't entirely broken. Maybe refiring up the Hadron Collider shifted us back to our old universe. Whatever is happening, I'm happy it is, and doing my part to increase the good. It starts with dumping the bad. Try it.

 

x

 

Lazing On a Sunny Afternoon

 Glad to see Summer coming to a head. It's been so claggy and Allergy Hell.  I'm in the AC 99% of the time and even indoors with portals shut, it's Niagara Falls, coughing and sneezing. Someone asked, "You don't like a nice sunny day with warm breezes?" No. No I don't. I want 20F and snow blowing sideways.

There's news. 

Brother Billy flatlined on the operating table and was dead for 23 seconds.  He's mostly fine, just takes a bit longer to say what he's thinking. He saw nothing when dead. But he's back, has a pacemaker, and should be ok for another 10,000 miles.

I hired a new aide, and 16 may be the magic number.  There are omens: her first name is a kickass Game of Thrones woman's name, and she lives on a street named for Alicia's family. And she's Scandihoovian. And a NYer. I'm psyched. She starts Weds.

Much company in the last few days. Nurse Muffinpants stopped in Thursday. I don't see nearly enough of her. She's going to a Rob Zombie concert, which is her version of me seeing Greg Lake after all the years. Wendy's nephew is here visiting, so they came for dinner Friday. Made Caribbean foods, yukked it up, told him the Stories. Then Saturday, Kick finally came south and we did Christmas in July. We hadn't seen each other since she came running to help last Fall when I got bitten. Right after she left, Deb did a drive by. She always has stories to tell. Today I interviewed  the Hoovian and cleaned. Tomorrow I interview a backup aide, and then Wendy's bringing Chinese takeout along with her nephew, and her Dad. Tuesday will be a total Nothing Day.

It's almost pre-pandemic feeling. Not all the way with big hugs and kisses, but much more than it was. In the Big Lockdown Times people only left their houses when they had to. I didn't see one friend for 15 months, but she's been around this year a couple times. The variants are still making their ways around the world. At the start I heard this would be a 3 year deal. It sure looks like that's the case.

Rain tomorrow, and a big solar flare on Tuesday. Maybe we'll have a regulation Summer power outage in there sometime. Better charge things in the morning.

 

I hope you're having a lovely Summer evening in the north, and a cozy Winter evening  down under.

x