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Sunday, April 2, 2017

this way

my hands are shit. i type w the middle, ring finger and pinkie of my left hand now. index is toast. when the nerve shoots i can't capitalize so here we are, not typing much. thank you for your concern, lawless.

nothing else has changed. the cheeto in charge is still on full flaming asshole to everyone but the rich. there are no words, and i couldn't type them all anyway.

still have not gotten appts w a neurologist nor an ortho. i see the auxilliary dermo in nh on weds.

beest will be on the ear smear forever. she has regained weight and sleeps a lot. i worry. she has lumps. the vet will eval her on friday.

billy carries on, bought an epiphone, got the housed resided, is struggling with all the drugs and conditions he has going on. the idea to move here is floating round again.

i really am liking the solitude here.
we got a spring snow and the guy who shovels a path for his dog didn't bother this time. it's bright today. the sky's that blue you only see this time of year or in old paint by numbers.

happy spring, be well.
x

sit down, life, we gotta talk

life, we've known each other as long as i can remember. i expected by now you'd have grown up some and straightened this shit out, but frankly i'm disappointed.

yes, i know it's not all your fault. it's time passings', and genes', and a descending order of culprits' faults as well. but life, you're the eldest, and should know better.

seriously, if you keep going down this path, you'll live to regret it. get your shit together.

Monday, February 27, 2017

The February Summer

All the snow we had since December and January has melted down. The maze walls that lined our pathways are small white ridges, speckled brown. Looks like a crumbcake around here.



For the last weeks temps rose bizarrely, from almost-reasonable 50'sF to the quite strange mid-70'sF. February, Vermont, 70'sF. That's just not right. By Billy in NJ, it's been close to 80'. Those denying Climate Change, please get your heads out your asses. Shit is real and here already.

I'm in this unsettled position over this. Winter is my less painy time, and so this warmth sucks. On the other hand, no snow means no worrying about anyone outside doing whatever they would that could result in heart attacks or accidents. But this is February, the harsh month, the month of death anniversaries and unrelenting freezing middle fingers from Mother Nature. That's what it's always been, until the last 2 years. Now the maple syrup army clamour to tap and collect in a hurry, just in case this is their one shot at the period of warm days and cool nights when the sap runs, the one that usually happens about a month from now. Now the ski industry uses a helluva lot of water making snow. And manmade snow just isn't the same, we all know it. Now there are blooms popping out, south of us. In February.

 http://www.travelandleisure.com/trip-ideas/nature-travel/washington-dc-cherry-blossoms-bloom

The Hair is proving to be just as nuts as we thought. Who knows where this runaway carnival ride will go.

Trump Bans the Free Press

http://auto-de-fey.blogspot.com/2017/02/pauls-grandfather-and-sky-blue-sky.html 

Beest is getting hyperthyroid stuff in her ears every day. She couldn't tolerate the food. But she's taking this well, and someday maybe perhaps, we'll remove the bubble on her poor wee head.

My hands are both crappy now, but at least in different ways. And I need to stop typing.

I hope your February has treated you kindly.
x

Friday, February 10, 2017

Winter Is Here

There are two weathers that inspire me to cook Burn You Twice Chili. When it's very hot and when it's very cold. It's very cold. I have achieved Winterfullness. Yesterday we had a foot or more of snow (at this point who counts), today is very windy. It whips around the courtyard in a whiteout whirlwind, disappearing the world from my windows. Then it drops, and I expect to see the White Walkers

lined up by the recycling bins. This may be The Year of the Bugged Out Eyes. I am a Snowflake. Winter Is Here.

HildeBeest Underfoot must learn that she will get run over if she's in the way. Today's  "ROWrrr!" wasn't the loudest ever, but she took off and is now throwing me shade and filthy looks from the bedroom. That tail she doesn't watch gets it every time. It was already broken when she came here. Still, no fur on the floor, so it wasn't very bad. She'll come out when she's hungry.

Today I had a short but deep chat with a friend, and we noticed how events look a lot like Gotterdammerung, and how The Hair is very Loki-ish. There's been a lot of phone time lately. A long-lost cousin we didn't know existed found us on the Ancestry DNA matches. This is the daughter of my Aunt Ruth, dead 4 years before I was born. Aunt Ruth didn't marry- it was 1954, she was 23, her lover was married. She came from wealth and social position via her adopted parents, and they sent her to Denver to give birth, and dispose of the baby before she could return home to Rochester. Which she did. A year later on Xmas Eve, she ran her car into a tree there, killing herself and 2 passengers. She was 24, a sorority girl college graduate. She taught PE. She was a perky blond, had been overprotected, and never had a chance to balance out because she died too young. We only found out her whereabouts in 1995, after my mother had spent 60 years wondering what had happened to her.

Ruth's daughter, Mary, grew up in a family that would never pass muster to adopt nowadays. She went to 12 grammar schools, lived in several southern states, and left them at 17 to marry the guy she's still with, in Oklahoma. They've done very well, and have a huge family and a great big house in a tiny town of 39. They're happy. I've spent almost 5 hours on the phone with her this week. She is definitely a Hendrickson.

Another of the cousins, a Ron who lives an hour from Billy in NJ, has also been in touch, sending photos of extended family. The Hendricksons rarely had less than 10 children each, and 8 or 9 would make it to adulthood and beget away. My DNA cousin matches go on for 250+ pages, at 50 people a page. Ron's gr-gr-grandfather was my great-grandfather. His grandmother lived to an old age and told family stories we never heard in our branch. I'm looking forward to sharing with these new peep! It takes a Hendrickson to understand a Hendrickson. lol

This Winter is reminding me of  Winters when I was small. The snow is heaped high, and now being seated, is up to my shoulders when I push by. Today the sky is such a pure blue and the snow so white it makes your eyes hurt. Time to have some chili that'll clear my sinuses.
This Snowflake is resolved to resistance.
Winter Is Here.
x