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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Our Streaming Radio

Our little community radio station is dear to my heart. You can listen to it on the web, too.

At the moment, our Cam is doing her weekly show, Cam's Carousel, a variety of music with some unusual patter from Cam.
The station's website is

On the front page of the website is Larry Bloch, founder, who died recently leaving a life well-lived. Fellow blogger Stevil at Auto De Fey is now the President of the Board at WVEW. His radio show playing big band and vocalists of the 40s and 50s is on Saturday nights, 6-8 EST. Check out our commercial-free local radio station, where dues-paying djs bring a wide variety of programming because each show is entirely designed by the people who host. Makes for some interesting radio.

Turkey Brains

It's Thursday, November 29th and I don't know how it got that way. Thanksgiving is already a week gone and I'm convinced I have the Magical Turkey That Won't End. Well, 7 days of turkey is enough for anyone. Today whatever's left gets wrapped and frozen for soup. Five people have gotten leftovers and I've had turkey variations up to here. Enough.

On to Christmas. Finally got the presents wrapped and in a box for safe keeping from the crazy cat. I've outwitted her this year and got stick-on tags. Hopefully this year Special K won't end up with one of Cam's gifts.

The world? It's the same mess it's always been.
Murdoch may have ruined Freedom of the Press for the whole class:

The Hobbit premiered in New Zealand

This is my favorite story of the week:

You actually do use 100% of your brain

It's all in our minds

Even the Psychopathic Trolley

Coming soon to a clinic near you

I've read this 3 times and it keeps blowing my mind

Things to do. Can't sit on my arse all day. See you then.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

That Went Fast

What a terrific Thanksgiving. We had plenty of everything, including steam, until we ate. Then we turned into zombies. It was almost 5 hours before Strider and I ate pie; Stevil had gone home when it became clear that we ween't bouncing back. One lousy plateful and we're almost sick? That's not right. What lightweights we've become!

But damn that was good. The leftovers were/are good too.
And on top of Strider doing just everything she could to make my life easier, she also did the cleanup. And brought me a plate of dinner. Was this the best Thanksgiving ever? Yes. The 3 of us laughed our asses off and then pigged out. And then sat motionless in awe at the power of food.

It wasn't like a holiday deal really; it was more like Strider and I went on a retreat. Because we did sod tout on Friday. She played a video game and I read studies I'd been meaning to read- interesting things about brain activity among several "automatic writers" for one- and we had movies in the background. I think that's the longest continuous time the tv has ever been on in my house. So with one eye and sometimes 2, I watched some great old movies-Dial M for Murder and Suspicion- and a random camp movie called The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and a couple of musicals. I think Strider was so engaged/escaped in her game that the movies were filler. lol

By some miracle, most of the time I was gleefully left alone. No phone calls, no situations, nobody wanting. It feels like I've been away but neither of us left the house for 2 days (except for the Em walking). It's been miraculously, fabulously, blissfully quiet. My ears have dropped. I can just hang with Strider, something that is hard to find these days. It was like the 70s but with no new album to listen to. She brought vidz, I had some ready, we didn't bother. We just hung out and did as close to nothing as you can get. And it was great!

For some reason, when Strider walks in it's like she's just come home from work. We pick up talking as if we just hung up the phone. Emmet, however, is getting very old and does not talk as much as he used to. He doesn't see or hear too well either. He is, however, still the WonderDog.
And Beest? Well she was put out for a couple of days, trying to sneak out behind Strider, lurking by Emmet's waterbowl and being a bitch. She's been sleeping or eating and nothing else since they left yesterday.

We've given thanks. We ate, we drank, we smoked (yes, I smoked) and we slept. And I slept like the dead last night and will again tonight. And then tomorrow life will start again, I'm sure. Sometime in the last 3-4 days I transitioned into Holidays Laura, with several bottles of imbibage in the kitchen and sweets and munchies around. The decorations call.

So we're here, in the log flume that is the holiday season. Wrap the presents, put up the tree, play the music, decorate, cook, bake, watch the movies and specials. It wasn't tough to step into it all this year, more a drift than a step really. Now I even have an art project in mind. A Marley doorknocker.  : ) Yep, that went way too fast. I could've done nothing for a few more days before I got concerned. Now things get somewhat crazy for the next 6 weeks or so, then we rest again. I'm planning to sleep for the entire month of February.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!

There's no time to blog til the weekend so I'm reposting a piece. I wrote this 3 years ago. A lot has happened in the interim, but it still applies.

This has become my favorite holiday. A day to relax, take stock, eat my favorite foods and even watch a parade in my old hometown. Somehow, the cooking of Thanksgiving has never seemed like work to me. It's a magical meal. I guess having done it for so many years it's as though it puts itself together.

So yes, I'm thankful for our food, and the animals and the vegetables and the minerals that make it possible.
I'm thankful for the people in my life. I'm thankful for a safe home with potable running water (even hot water!). I'm thankful for appropriate clothing and shoes. I'm thankful for a lively community. I'm thankful for my education, and all the things that have happened in my life to bring me to this point. I'm thankful for Brooks Library and the folks who work there. I'm thankful for my aides who help keep me rolling along. I'm thankful for all my projects and the ability to keep working on them. I'm thankful for all of life's lessons; they teach me to be able to help others. I'm thankful for the Earth that supports us, the Sun and Moon and Stars, the wonders of nature and science and religion. I'm thankful for my family and my forebears. I'm thankful for my heritage and uncovering history and still being able to think. I'm thankful for the progress of social justice and all those who work for it. I'm thankful for my computer and the internet, which have brought me new friends and information and entertainment and cultures I'd not have known otherwise. And which has made it so easy to become close to and keep up with all the lives I care about. I'm thankful for music and art that give me succor when I'm down. I'm thankful for people who make my spirit soar and my brain think. I'm thankful I have enough of everything to share and celebrate life. I'm thankful for life itself.

On this day of thanks I want to start making it a practice to be mindful of being thankful every day. I have so much to be thankful for every day, not just today.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012


Here we are. I'll gather my wits to make and bake the pies for Thanksgiving dinner right after this is posted. The house is in shape for company. Ems has a bed waiting right in front of the heat. There are sheets and blankets out for Strider to camp on the futon. Just some last minute organizing and then cooking on the day and eating. Yay!

So I'll be busy from here on til Saturday and I just wanted to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all my blogging pals, even if you don't observe it. Any day's a good day to realize and value all we have. Enjoy.

Things I'm grateful for this year:
Food and friends and family

Attitude adjustment

The turkeys who give their lives for our feasts.

And furfaces who make life good.

The fall of the Nose of Mordor

One of the best nights
And an incredible daughter.


The ways and means to keep on keeping on.

 We have Obama for filling another few SCOTUS seats.

  And we live to fight another day.

                                                Happy Thanksgiving. xo                                                  

Monday, November 19, 2012

November Nose and Flipping the Bird

It's here. The windows have been closed for a few days and I have November Nose. Out comes the spray. The boiling water as night falls. Yes, I know this drill. Years ago it was accompanied by the smells of wet wool and radiators and the radio playing Motown. In fact, every time I hear this

I smell wet wool.
It just dawned on me tonight that I'm not coming down sick, it's the same damn thing I've gone through every Fall. It's November Nose.

The bird is ever so slowly defrosting. He'll get flipped in the morning so the breast gets lots of juice until cooking time. Tomorrow I'll herb up the olives, defrost the cranberries and pumpkin to make pies on Tuesday. Our menu runs as follows:
Laying around the house:
asstd nuts
homemade pickled herring and sour cream
chips n dip

the 21# bird
onion-celery-sage stuffing
homemade cranberries sauce
baked sweet potatoes
mashed white potatoes
white trash green beans dish
sauteed spinach
more gravy. and stuffing.

cranberry, pumpkin and Strider's bringing apple, pies. and Reddi-Whip!

tea, coffee, milk, apple juice, V8 and whatever anyone else brings.

I think we're in excellent shape.

However, if they keep up with the barrage of Christmas adverts this may be the year I get sick of Yuletidiness. I remember each year my parents got sick of Christmas. My Dad went Grinchy when he was 70. My Mom gave up more than got tired of it, when she was 64 or 65. Just didn't want to be bothered with it because it caused too much physical pain. I understand that now, but didn't then. It was sad to go from a house decorated like Fezziwig's to a ceramic tree on the tv. I took up the decorating craze in their place and except for the year Ian died, have always had a tree at the least. Now that we've been back a year I'm pretty much situated to go decoration wild this year. We'll see how it goes. I can't get over the Hallmark channel going right to Christmas movies from Halloween on. Can't we relax and digest? Though this year Strider's going to help me put up the tree on Thanksgiving Friday. Long as that part's done I can get the rest out and up myself. 

Well it's midnight and I'm ready to collect the Beest and curl up under my quilt. Stay warm, everyone.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Reset Rerun

Just over a year ago I was getting ready to leave Strider's house and return to the post-Irene Shire. It wasn't the same but then neither was I. And that isn't necessarily bad. Please enjoy this rerun.

Whatever happens on Monday night, I'm out of here Friday. Which means I have 5 days more here with Strider. And 2 of those she'll be out of town at meetings. Aside from leaving all the four-leggers that I love (except for Hildie, who's mine now) I'm gonna miss the hell out of her.

You see, I'm old now. Cynical, untrusting, unromantic as a salty dog. And Strider is a Great Believer. She doesn't think she's an optimist, but she's the most hardcore optimist I've ever known in my whole life. 10 years ago I wrote a poem about how her eternal faith in love leaves me bewildered. She has an incredibly brave heart because she won't ever give up looking and being open to love. And she's realistic and wary, but she's not a scoffer. Seeing things through her eyes has shown me a lot about where my head has gone in the last few years.

For instance, I watched "The Holiday" tonight. A movie I've seen before, with other people. When she started it I kinda zoned and dismissed it, because of who was there when I first watched it. Tonight I watched it with Strider and it was an entirely different movie, because of who I was with.

There are a lot of things like that; it all depends on who you're with when you do it.

Strider, again, has opened my eyes. Whoever said you only learn from your elders was a moron. Everyday, I learn things from Strider, or Carrie, or my niece or grandniece. Or anyone else from the younger sets. It isn't re-learning, it's resetting yourself. We get set in our attitudes and opinions as we live. Some of those are wrong to adopt. But you don't even know it until you get a chance to reset yourself.

So I'll go back to The Shire, maybe even Hobbiton, with a slightly pried-open mind toward romance now. It can happen. It happened once in my life. That died. But who's to say it can't happen twice? And who's to say love is too painful to try again? It's the best thing in life.

And maybe, just maybe, that's the best thing that's happened in this whole nightmare. Strider's fearless when it comes to trying to love. She's suffered a lot in love. A lot. Believe me. I've seen it. But she's never given up. My my, what a wise woman she is.

Hell's bells, I'm gonna miss her.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Because I'm an Idiot- no. 48

Why oh why did I expect better? Because I'm an idiot. For some complete unreason I expected that people would be more civil for knowing each other and perhaps know what they're talking about in a certain area of interest on Fecebook. I mean, why join a group of people out of your league? Wouldn't that make you a pretentious ass? And if you have any sense and realize you're in over your head, wouldn't you keep your mouth shut so you don't show what an ass you are? Unless the inverse is true, in that somehow beginners created this club that adepts liked the sound of and joined, which blew the beginners' minds so completely that they never showed common sense or intelligence again. Howzat for a sentence? :)

What this is really about is that since Michael Lloyd wrote Bull of Heaven there's been this convergence of the peep who were interconnected thru the NYC Pagan scene. This, if anything, is a hint to me that it really could be the End of the World. We all pretty much hated each other at the parting. I mean, we went thru a constant state of high drama for several years together. We thought we knew each other well; men were stolen, people were used and abused, blood was drawn. Now we're older, apparently some peep have lost their memories, and those of us still around after all the thinnings of the herd (Vietnam, drugs, car accidents, AIDS, etc.) proceed with cautious optimism among each other again. These are the people of my twenties and thirties. Some older, some younger. A lot are dead. We have those griefs in common too. And hopefully we've mellowed, gotten past the worst bits of our insanities, grown up. And holy crap the funniest damn stories come to mind, and peep remember parts you don't and you end up laughing ass off.

Thing is, we were Pagans back before it was accepted. When there were books but they were underground and shelved in the back of the bookstore or in the middle of an aisle. (And here I'd like to say thank you to the Strand for the good occult selection at cheaper prices than Herman's.) There was no Disneyesque cloying charm nor Barbie on a broom in those days. And rarely did you wear a pentacle in public. It was way before a pentacle could be seen in a military cemetery. We have all these shared and not so nice experiences but we have a boatload of funny too. There's history.

So along comes a thing called Facebook where everyone just is, to some extent. And these newbie witchlings are putting up pages that look much more sophisticated than their admins are. Some of the old farts get on there and there's this huge generation gap. Different things are being taught than what we learned. They've inherited the art but not the heart. It's kind of like digging a guy only to find out in the morning that he's 17. Not that that's ever happened to me.

And it looks like, for all the specious wisdom we may have accrued, we haven't got it together enough to create our own damn pages for the adepts ourselves. Because we're still screwed by being the generation we are.

Yes, I am an idiot. But I'm not alone.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Second to the Right and...

There's no time. No time to lurk as much as I'd like to on facebook, no time to fart around and watch silly YT vids, no time to sit and stare at a screen while I think up the next line for a blogpost. It's early this year but it's undeniably here. I speak, of course, of the holiday season.

First of all fb. I've been in touch with many peep I haven't talked to in years. It's wonderful, time consuming, very annoying, really funny and a total pain in the ass. There's too much stuff coming at you all the time. I can see how peep would end up spending all their time on there, just trying to keep up. But it's also very useful. Like any tool it can be misused, like any power it can be used for evil. It's only as much as you make of it. Though rest assured that everything you do is tracked and used for marketing purposes. My search results have changed significantly to reflect things I've looked at on fb.

Aside from the morning rush to get the food to the other radio station, today was a tangle of can't do-s. Typical of the pre-holiday prepping. Where'd all the tape go? Are there any gift tags left from last year? What pots and pans and dishes for what foods on Thanksgiving? Where are the lights and what about that broken light, can Brown and Roberts fix that? On it goes, as it always has and probably always will be.

And then there's the Really Big News. That is that my former place of employment is a union shop now. My old coworker called and told me, it was a 65% majority. I congratulated him and he apologized that it didn't happen while I was there. But it's okay. At least a couple of us from the first drive made it to being union workers. And yeah, I cried. Hey, Norma Rae didn't get to join when the union came into her former workplace either. Sometimes it's enough to see it happen at all.

Now we head into a big chill. That's fine too, because the weather's been too warm for this time of year. On we go.
Straight on til morning.

Sunday, November 11, 2012


Called Armistice Day or Veterans Day, it's today, the 11th of the 11th of the 11th. As Armistice Day I see the celebration. The end of war and beginning of peace is to be celebrated. But I have a hard time saying "Happy" Veterans Day. This isn't a happy thing, being a veteran. Especially with the way veterans are treated these days. Serving is and was a sacrifice, a duty, something noble to have done. Happy seems wrong. 

Tammy Duckworth sent out an email today, herself a vet who was gravely wounded in the current wars:

"Today, it is essential that we honor all those that have been willing to make the defense of freedom their personal responsibility. Since before the inception of the United States, those Veterans have served the American people enduring physical danger, discomfort, horrible living conditions, and long separation from their loved ones.

This rite of remembrance is especially poignant at this time when so many of our sons, daughters, brothers and sisters are currently deployed overseas and in harm's way. Let us each remember now that every one of those Americans has voluntarily undertaken those tasks to protect our country, and let us continue to remember when we welcome them home at the end of their service.

On Veterans Day and throughout the year, we must remember the sacrifice America’s warfighters and their families make every day. There is no more important job than keeping our nation safe and secure, and they deserve the very best that our country has to offer."
However one feels about what's going on, let's not ever forget those who serve.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Happy 65th Greg!

You all know how I loves the Greg guy. Well, today he turned 65 years young. On Monday he begins the European leg of his Songs of a Lifetime Tour with dates in the UK and the continent. He has a new cd being released, his autobiography in print (and I'm presuming the other 2 parts on audio stick?) soon to be published, maybe a dvd of his American SOAL tour(?) and a shiny new grandson, Gabriel. 2012 has been a good year for our Greg. I wish him all the best and hope he'll come back through the states next year.

And an added bonus: Greg on the tour with Yes:
(this is from the concert Strider and I went to in April)


Friday, November 9, 2012

Time to Move Forward

There is so much acrimony floating around. I've never seen so much emotional outpouriing over an election. We're in a sea of sore losers and lousy winners and it's all done, folks. Youse can go on being all shrill and waste a bunch more time and money doing that or youse can put on your grown up pants and start fixing things.

In case nobody noticed, the NYC/Jersey Shore area is still a Katrina wreck. People need help.

The same people who were struggling and on the edge haven't moved up any since Tuesday.

The same people who didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of are still potless and windowless.

People are acting like schoolyard bullies on both sides when what we should be doing is rising above all this crap and fixing things!

Think on this a minute:
  Don't let us rejoice in punishment, even when the hand of God alone inflicts it. The best of us are but poor wretches, just saved from shipwreck: can we feel anything but awe and pity when we see a fellow-passenger swallowed by the waves? - George Eliot

Enough with the pointing fingers, accusations, nah nahs and gotchas. There's no time to waste. Let's grow up and get to work.

Wood Needed

We have a woman who is very ill and has three young sons and needs wood to get through the winter. If you can help, please contact me ASAP. Thanks!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Baby, It's Cold Outside

The Windham County Heat Fund needs your support. Almost 8 years ago, Richard Davis and Daryl Pillsbury got the idea to create the Heat Fund. Though some people can get assistance through the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program, others cannot, and fall through the cracks. When people fall through cracks they may be a single parent with children, earning too much to be eligible for fuel assistance but not enough to heat their home. People often have to decide, as winter months progress, whether to buy food or fuel. They may be elderly or disabled, living on fixed incomes, and can’t afford housing, food, bills, medications and fuel. They have to figure out how they'll survive without the necessities of life. In our area, heat is a necessity.

Those who do qualify for LIHEAP are getting roughly a third of what they received 2 years ago. It has been cold already; today it snowed. The heat is on.

Send your tax deductible donations to
The Windham County Heat Fund
c/o Richard Davis
679 Weatherhead Hollow Rd
Guilford, VT 05301

or you can donate directly at the Brattleboro Savings and Loan. 100% of your donations goes to fuel. None of us who work on the Heat Fund take one penny. Please keep your neighbors safely warm this winter. Thank you.

For Gary

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Oh What a Relief It Is!

Today I'm celebrating. Because it's all gonna be all right. Not good; things haven't entirely changed since Monday, but some really good stuff has happened. Encouraging stuff. I'll let Stevil's wonderful post tell it:

Obama's wee hours speech, which is one of the most moving I've ever heard:
(scroll halfway down the page for the video)

So we prepare for the first Winter storm. I'm gonna make a small cheaters beef stew, bake a couple sweet potatoes and whatever else I come across to warm the place up (I always fill an oven). Oh and my brother is home at last, everything is on and back to somewhat normal at his house. Though the shore is under curfew/evac again in the threat of the Nor'easter coming. I'm worried about Kick, because she's supposed to work tonight but how can she under the curfew/evac orders, she's already lost a lot of work time and $, and now she's worried they'll fire her.

In general I can't work myself up over anything bad today. It all seems handle-able. We dodged a hail of bullets last night. After that, well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


Watching the Daily Show when Jon Stewart says the election is called- aren't polls still open?- and OBAMA WON!!!!!!

I can sleep, it'll all be okay. Well, not okay, but fightable. There's still hope.

The Dems are back in Congress, which is debatably meaningful.

My shoulders just dropped from my ears.

Oh My Aching Balls

This is as stressful an election as when Bush #2 stole the 2000 election. I can barely stand watching, as the little red states tally up one after another for Mitt the Twit. Honestly, if he gets the seat I'll wish to die right then and mean it with all my being. And I hope a stray Reaper hears my wish and takes me. Because I'll have lost all hope for any halfway decent future. I can't leave this country. So why not die.

The thought that so many people are idiotic and racist and homophobic enough to be brainwashed by this corrupt load of rich pander-to-the-lowest-morality-greedy bastard douchebag asshats makes me hate this all with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. Oh my god what's happened to my country!?????! How did everyone get so goddamned stupid? How could someone this evil have 50% of the vote? WTF?

Nail Biting Night

Oh how I hate elections.

Everything you listen to or watch has different projections and figures.
Exit polls are once again different to what the vote count supposedly is.

I wish I'd gotten beer in!
Something tells me this could be a loooong night.

Daryl and Joe are going to cover the polls closing here in town, at 7.
Ach, my nerves.
Where are the good drugs of old that made the world tolerable?
It's no fun to be an adult anymore.
I'll be back later.
Oh- Romney is ahead in KY and IN but it's very early.

Liar or Ignoramus?

Either way, I don't want him running things.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Bleak Humor

I Miss Nana

Tomorrow's the big day. We vote and decide whether we'll go along more or less in the same way or go hurtling backwards 40-50 years. I'm really sick of being scared at every election. These neocons do scare the hell outta me, because they feel they have some sort of religious crusade. This time their crusade may not involve cannibalism or raping, killing and torturing those who don't "believe" as they do along the way. I hope they don't get the chance so we can see whether it does or not. So far, we've been doing a good job of raping, killing and torturing without a religious zeal to fuel it.

Certainly I don't want to see anyone in office who'd dictate a woman's reproductive rights. Certainly I don't want to see someone in office who puts their personal religious beliefs before anyone else's. Certainly I don't want to see anyone in office who wants to keep or establish inequality among We the People. But politics has become an arena of those who have bad ideas and those who make those ideas worse. Has it always been this way? I wish I could talk to my Nana right now. Yes, it's gotten to the point that I want my Nana.

Nana was a Republican and a Christian. She was also one of those women who, in the 1920s, sat on a park bench with another woman who let a glimpse of stocking reveal that they were who you were safe to approach if you needed an abortion. She and the other woman would get up and walk away, and the woman in need would follow them to the sidewalk where they'd address her and then escort her to a relatively safe place for her abortion to be done. I don't want to go back to those days.

Nana wasn't wealthy or a big philanthropist but she campaigned for assistance to the poor. During the Depression she fed anyone who showed up at her door. On her gatepost was the hobo sign for "kindly woman". She believed that everyone should be helped when they need it. Any kind of assistance they needed. And that you should be ashamed of yourself for refusing or questioning their need. Because she was a Christian.

Nana thought everyone was equal on the Earth. That it was wrong to exclude people from any right or privilege. She'd been a Suffragette. She drove an automobile in 1919 and was a decorated NYPD Captain in 1923. She was active in the Brooklyn Republican Party and the papers called her "Republican Battleaxe", which she thought hilarious. It was at her table that I heard, "I may not agree with what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." and "Well, we'll agree to disagree."- that said with a chuckle. She wasn't condescending, she didn't think she was better than anyone else. She didn't dismiss people as "nonbelievers" or arrogantly think her way was the only way.
She just had principles and she lived them.

I miss Nana on the eve of this election.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

An Absolute Beginner

I have to say that Facebook's a wild ride to just join now. So many people are on there, and so many threads run through everyone's lives. Everyone is in there! People I haven't spoken to, lost touch with, old co-workers and pals from every era of my life-they're in there! It was a whole day of boiling decades of things down to a few lines in a little box. My eyes are shot, my head is full and I'm drained.

But really? Facebook is like a necessary evil these days. And to be honest, it can be fun. I sit corrected.

Houston, We Have Contact.

And holy crap am I gonna sleep tonight. Billy and MaryAlice are in Staten Island and we'll talk tomorrow.
Everyone's okay but things are a mess.

And yes, it's because I finally caved and joined fb. Dammit. It took all of 3 hours to do what 4 days of emails and phone calls didn't. I'll concede that it's not as rotten as it once was and I will credit it for finding relatives, and the ladies who pushed me into joining it for being right.

Doesn't mean I have to like it!

But it does mean that I'll sleep before sunrise and this longer-than-has-been-night might set me well. Everyone's okay.
And the Bonzo solo on "TSRTS" which is playing on vh-1 CLASSIC has joy unbound to it.
The best kind of lullaby.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

There are people all over the place involved in finding Billy now, for which I'm very grateful. I want to thank the ladies on the Greg Lake forums for their volunteer spirit and sisterhood.

It's not the first time Billy has gone MIA, gods know. We'd go a month or two without hearing from him when he was in Vietnam, pretty regularly. The first couple of weeks we'd hold breath, dreading the 2 guys in dress uniform would show up at our house. Eventually it became a sort of unspoken tension in the family. We'd watch the news in a grim silence. Then a letter would arrive or there'd be a phone call if he had leave somewhere and it'd all be over until the next time. When he was a cop he was happy and handsome and having a blast, and if anything happened to him he'd be taken care of and we'd know immediately, so you get used to that worry. This is different. A natural disaster is chaotic. There's still no power and no phones working around his house. I'm fairly certain he's staying close to home. But I'm sure that he probably isn't thinking that I'm losing my mind worried about him. Billy doesn't think about such things.

In other matters...
This morning was Larry's memorial, Wendeleh called me after it was over. A full house, a good memorial.

Speaking of Greg, there's a contest for tickets and VIP passes to his London show:

And it's 1:30 already and I haven't accomplished anything but this, answering emails, returning phone calls and chatting on the phone. Time to get off my arse and do some constructive something.

Friday, November 2, 2012

No Way! Not Yet!

Tonight's forecast- chance of snow, low in the low 30s. And tomorrow? Lows in the 20s. This is really not called for. I'm not ready to close the windows for the Winter yet.

Tomorrow is Larry's memorial service. I'm not going. Gal Friday was here this morning and after she left I got into boxes and searching and I sat here too long and now my back is poop. Which means it'll be Kardashian tomorrow. Everyone and his mother will be there so I won't be missed. And like I represented Wendy at Henry's service, she can represent me at Larry's. I have come to hate, loathe, despise and abominate funerals. Larry knew I liked and respected him, and that's what matters.

Not a word about Billy or MaryAlice.

My friend in NY state came home to find her power back on tonight. Woohoo for 20th century living!

Stories are coming out about those who died by Sandy, most in Staten Island. Thankfully, nobody I know among them. Those folks are suffering down there. Manhattan's well on the way to normal, but the outlying areas are far from it. This is the Katrina of the north. Here's a gallery of reader's photos on

A neighbor housed her son and his family for a month here in the Shire. They lost their jobs and home in Texas and had nowhere to go and no money to start up. We aren't supposed to take people in- we're required to report overnight guests and are only allowed to have a total of 4 weeks of stay-overs in a 12 month period- but nobody here ratted her out.  It's possible that only a few knew about it but not likely. People here watch everything. One woman was accused of having an affair with a young man. It was later revealed that he was her son coming by. It's that sort of place, which is why I keep to myself. Still, nobody ratted her/them out. I want to think there's an unwritten solidarity here.

Don't mistake this, we're going through a Great Depression, natural disasters and all. I pray that Obama gets back in. Romney in his magic underwear will be the Anti-FDR. Instead of creating infrastructure jobs to get us back to work and in working order Romnut will just contract everything out to his profit-making tax-dodging friends, thereby creating the sort of plutocracy that all Fascists enjoy. The rich politically-powered will own the government and we'll all owe our souls to the company store.

Yeah, times are a little bit scary.

Dear Campaigns,

Go $%&# yourselves. Really. $%&# yourself really hard because right now I don't care about how much money you need, when your deadline is, or, frankly, whether or not any of you live or die. And how dare you try guilting me with a "statement of contributions" and telling me I can do better? Go take a flying $%&# at the moon. Cuz you can find all the money I'm giving you there. If you haven't noticed, there's some real #$%& going on, like people missing and who are suddenly homeless with nothing left and you want money so you can hassle people for more? You sure you wanna do that? I'm a woman on the edge. One more of you ass bastids emails me for money and I'm never giving any of you a cent ever again.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Day of the Dead

I had one of those dissociative moments this morning. In the morning fog that I'm becoming used to having these days, I had to regroup. Billy's still missing. Is it really November already? Thanksgiving is 3 weeks away and Christmas, 8 1/2. Halloween goes back in the box and it's time to straighten the house out for the holidays. The windchimes and lawn signs have to go back outside.

And Billy's still MIA.

Kick emailed me that she was going north this a.m. to get gas for the generator. If they could they'd stop by Billy's house. I shouldn't worry about any of them, they're all very capable people and if I got thru Irene they can get thru Sandy. I worry anyway.

There are so many stories coming out of this storm. Trees go roots-up and reveal skeletons. News reporters are helping people around the world locate their dislocated or incommunicado relatives. It'll be another week or more before people have water and power again. And the whole thing is on such a massive scale that I can't grasp it. New Jersey is a very populous place, entirely settled and paved for centuries. It's hard to picture what's happened, even after seeing the photos. Seaside decimated. The whole Jersey shore, all those towns, a big mess now. All those people living in homes that have been flooded, without power or water. And many made homeless. As soon as water recedes, the stench rises. How many homes will be condemned, torn down? How many will have lost everything they ever owned? One article described flying over Seaside, sand-filled roads, and here and there the bright colors of stuffed animals from the boardwalk game stalls, like sprinkles on butterscotch pudding.

Sandy has left about 160 people dead, in all, starting its devastation in the Caribbean. People are missing. A mother lost her grip on her 2 young sons as they were pulled into swelling waters on Staten Island, and she begged nearby houses for help but nobody would come out. A "mini tsunami" tore thru one house in Tottenville, on the southern tip of Staten Island, leaving a 13 year-old girl dead, her mother in critical condition and her father gone. Those claimed by the ocean may never be found.

I continue calling Jersey, but there's no getting thru. The home line has a recording saying my call can't be completed, try again later. Billy's cellphone, which I left a voicemail on Tuesday, just rings and rings now. On top of the power lines being down, cell towers fell too. Day by day my stomach sinks.

Finally just heard from a friend in NY state. She has no power but is otherwise fine. Maybe everyone will just pop up, one by one, like meercats. Meanwhile, we wait.