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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Last Words for 2009

Just a couple of things I want to record for myself, since I don't think many peep read this anyway.

In 2010 I want to sing again in public. It'll be 15 years and I miss it. I even know what song. So I guess it's time.

In 2010 I want to finish at least one of the books I'm writing.

In 2010 I'm letting things go. Things, people, everything. What stays or comes back, fine. What doesn't, finis. Life's short & there's a lot to get done. Was it Kesey who said, "You're either on the bus or off the bus"? I've spent a lot of my life on other people's buses. No more. Things are much clearer when you're older, and motives exposed.

So I guess that's the redux/peroro.
Here's to future days.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Gratitudes for 2009

As fucked up as life can be with all its situations, there is still and always much to be thankful about this past year.

Starting with the beginning, thank Gods and all good things that we got rid of Georgie Bush. Even if Obama can't get anything done, we are not having that hateful little idiot representing us to the world.

Probably showing my age and hokiness here, but I'm simply thrilled that the world has Susan Boyle. Here's a woman who had lived 2/3rds of a lifetime, not a physical stunner, who'd lived all her life quietly, keeping a hope and honing an incredible talent. She got one opportunity to step out- and floored the world. Better than any Cinderella story. Her story is uplifting in a world of spirit-squashing. We got lucky when she stepped on that stage.

I could be wrong, often am, but something changed this year. Pinning it to a time, I'd say sometime around Samhain. Something elusive to describe, an energy, really. A phoenix energy. A lot of good has birthed and continues to be born, in the ashes of the last ten years. People became fired up in all that's happened, in many ways. There's more social consciousness now than I've seen since the 60s, and as much opposition to social progress as ever. There's a spiritual revival of many facets. And none of it is easy, nor peaceful. We live in a more violent world than it was, in some ways. But many stout hearts are emerging, too. The truly good and well-meaning are beginning to shine their lights. I'm not alone in feeling the shift in November, others have noted it to me before I said it. Things will get better.

This year brought a broader view to good old ecology, to tending our planet, to pointing up the unsustainable, toward localness and a different approach to local economies, too.

Goodness often comes with sacrifice and fighting; we just need to be unafraid. There's an amazing amount of good people in the world, given a chance. This year has uncovered some gems of humanity.

Speaking of good people, I'm gobsmacked at the amount of good people in my life. And every year I get to collect more while deepening the bonds with old pals. I'm a lucky old broad.

With all the health problems in my family, we remainders are all still here to see the holidays. And hopefully we'll all be here for next year's holidays.

Everyone I care about has a warm bed to sleep in, food to eat, drinkable water and clothes on their back. As far as I know, anyway. I think I'd know if not.

We've all made it through another year, most of us better, or at least deeper souls, for having lived it.

So here's to all the good that came of 2009, and all the good that will come of 2010.

If you're reading this, I probably love you, and I should tell you more often. That's my only new New Year Resolution. The old one, to have more fun, remains.

Find the zen in 2010!


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

9 Days Til Santa

This morning is slow so I have a few minutes for an update.

People are encouraging me to develop "A Gimp's Guide to Life" into a book. I'm going to do it. I have 20-odd chapter subjects; it'll take a while but there are no other handbooks on surviving and enjoying life when disabled. We're a work related society, and those who are disabled are second-class citizens. It's about time somebody says something.

So, the first book will take a hiatus.

I'm ready for the holidays, though things aren't turning out as planned. Still, I'm 90% there and what will be will be in some areas.

It's been a month since giving up the wireless devices. There are no big glands left on my neck. The huge swelling on my clavicle decreased at the start but hasn't changed much since. I can feel the gland now amidst the swollen tissue and it moves at a finger touch. It all seems "looser" if that's the word, but it's still quite large. I attribute getting much more done to not having a phone attached to me in every hour of my life. I have slept better in the last month than in years. Strangely, perhaps coincidentally, I'm eating way less. Already I'm wearing clothes that were too tight last year this time. And I haven't changed eating habits in any conscious way. I feel less "stimulated" all the time, if that's the correct term. I'm liking all of this.