I love and collect trolls. You know them. Those little naked bug eyed creatures with Don King hair.
Well...Somehow my cousin mistook my troll affection for gnome affection. This has resulted in endless gifts of Temu gnomes for every occasion, holiday, or fancy. Gnomes on motorcycles, hippie gnomes, gnome couples, gnome blankets, gnome t shirts, gnome tree ornaments, gnome coffee mugs, gnomes of different sizes, gnomes of resin, fabric, plastic, ceramic... I think she's bought every gnome she's seen on the website.
And so when she came east this Fall, she brought my Xmas gifts. About 2 weeks later, my PA and I were moving the kitchen trash bag of wrapped presents out of our way when the decision was made to open the packages and figure out what to do.
Yes, more gnomes. All gnomes. I made a list of them in order to thank her on Xmas Day. Then we did gnome redistribution. To Goodwill. And that, I thought, was that.
Except that there was a small bag of flat cardboard gnome tree ornaments that she was keen on having my aide find and add to the tree. And she called today to make sure we did.
This is when we became pro liars. Yes, Alicia said, we found it and will add them to the tree. The truth is, they were probably sold weeks ago and I never even looked thru the packet. Yes, I'm guilty. Yes, I'll call her in a bit and tell her how sweet they are. And live with the lies. And at some point I'll have to tell her I'm off gnomes. But that day is not today.
And that's how gnomes turned me into a pro liar.
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