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Sunday, March 13, 2016

On Emo's Death

Keith Emerson fatally shot himself in the head, in the wee hours of Friday, March 11th, 2016. He was scheduled to play 6 concerts in Japan next month, and even though he had a 'cover' keyboardist, he was depressed that the irreparable damage to his hands meant he'd never play as he wanted to and had once been able to, again. His arthritis and nerve damage caused unending pain. He'd had surgery 2 years ago, removing feet of intestines due to chronic diverticulitis, but still had digestive issues. And last week he had bronchitis. His longtime girlfriend came home to their condo on Friday morning and found him dead.

Keith's death has taken the wind out of my sails a bit. There's been too much death and sadness this year, and Friday in addition to Keith, it was the 5th anniversary of my brother Tommy's death. 2 amazing musicians, 1 of them able to get far, 1 not ever able to get out of the cage of his mental illness. Both forever dead on March 11th. I don't even want to talk to anyone. Haven't returned calls. This is a profound sadness, not one I can cry off. It's one I have to take off in layers, a few hours of silence here, a few hours of music there. It's not depression, I'm not hopeless. I'm very, deeply sad. Sad that Keith felt dying was his only option for relief from what was hurting him. Sad that we'll never see him doing something fab again, that he'll never see Rachel Flowers make the big time, sad that I never met him, sad that we'll just be going on from here without him. That's what gets me every time. The world just keeps going, one of us having dropped out of life. The news is sad with splashes of horrifying. People I love are hurting a lot. It's all very real and very sad. 

RIP, Emo. We'll miss you. Now get Chris Squire off his ass and make some music for us to hear when we catch up to youse.

x

5 comments:

Munir said...

I am very sorry about your brother. You remember his passion for music and that is a sign that some one liked his passion it is OK even if he did not reach the hights.
Thanks for sharing the video. My daughter recognised and she heard about the artist tragic death as well. My heart gores out for his family.
It is good that you wrote a post. I hope that it made your pain a little lighter. Take care of yourself.

Launna said...

I understand the sadness you feel... I've had that incredibly deep sadness where nothing makes sense and you are positive it never will. I went through one of those times a couple of years back that I was sure I wasn't going to be able to hold on... some how I did. The sadness is still there but I can see the light. I wish all people could get to that point... when something like this happens it turns our world upside down, I believe writing this out will eventually help you...that is what got me through. I'm sorry I was so long winded, my prayers are with you and your family xox

Elephant's Child said...

Sometimes sad (and even depressed) is the most rational way to respond to the ugliness around us.
And yes, our world IS diminished by all of these losses. Some very personal, others felt by many.
Hugs.

Geo. said...

Each time you remember, each time you hear their music in your mind, it returns to the present through you. We've lost people we love and admire, who brought us joy --too many people-- but so long as their voices, music, all things good and shared return to the moment of our thoughts, their influence has no perceptible end. All my best wishes to you.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

No one could have said it better than Geo.