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Sunday, October 10, 2010

It Gets Better

Since I'm entirely incompetent in trying to YouTube myself, here's what I can do to join the "It Gets Better" campaign.

Bullying was real when I was in school, and is real now. In grammar school I was the perennial new kid, so was picked on. By 5th grade I was officially the Fat Girl in class. That stayed throughout High School. I was also a geek, a nerd and probably could have been diagnosed by a mental health worker. Other kids physically attacked me as well as verbally. There is something in my character that won't let me physically hurt someone if they do something to me. I will, however, jump anyone who touches or belittles someone I love, or is bigger than the victim. So I acquired the reputation for fighting. It was terrible. In 6th grade I almost went to a girls' detention hall for cutting school. But my education didn't suffer; I read compulsively. I started writing and arting and discovered parts of myself I didn't know existed. I spent a lot of time alone. Luckily, I had a set of girlfriends that hung together and until High School I had my buddies. Some of us did extracurricular things together- I was on every school newspaper, I ran a Career Day at my school, took ballet and karate. There were only 10 in that group of girls, it wasn't like we were really tight, but it was comfortable. We all went to different high schools and that was the end of us.

High school, even the one I went to, is always a terror to the bullied. There are new issues to be tortured over- zits, moodswings, your clothes, your hair, how much money your family has or doesn't- everything becomes a vulnerability. We didn't even speak of homosexuality then. Anyone suspected was just ostracized. If they were gay and smart or funny, they'd fit in with the nerds who sang or the art crowd. If they weren't, they were alone. I and nearly every girl I knew tried to kill ourselves, but thankfully few of us succeeded. It worries me that these days, kids are even more outspokenly mean. It worries me that kids are so picked on that killing themselves is their option, and that they know better how to do it now. Suicide is not painless.

Please, if you feel like suicide is a good idea, talk to someone. Everyone has at least 1 person who loves them, whomever that happens to be- a best friend, a mother, a sibling, whomever. If you get to that point, please talk to someone. You can even call a hotline and talk anonymously. But talk before you act. They're there. I'm here. Email me. I'll answer, I promise. I do care and I get it, I was bullied my whole life.

There are some great YouTube vlogs about this. Go watch
Perez Hilton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeEunG9M2s0

Or Bryan Africano Boi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV_EXkjI80A

Or a regular gal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IakHThErgSQ

Or a regular guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlYxv23TSQw

Stay With Us:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Linh8AQovWk

The Best of Those I've Seen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kQuvvWCCQ4

And this is the original with lots more:
http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject

It does get better. You won't see these people after you graduate. It's the truth. Just ignore it all you can, walk on and get thru it. You'll have strength they'll never dream of having. And remember, you have all the rights of everyone else. It's not that life isn't good, it's that it isn't fair. Just keep on.

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