Depends on the day. The couple of days a week I feel like I'm breathing normally and not absolutely happy to die (how you know it's the flu) I look almost human. But jeezus, the rest of the time I want to die. Just recently I remember someone on Downton Abbey died of the flu (we had family die of flu before I was born) and I can totally understand how it happened. I'd forgotten what having a tough flu was like. It goes on and on. "A cold is 3 days coming, 3 days here, and 3 days going." and "If you feel miserable, it's a cold; if you think you're gonna die and don't care, it's a flu." are sayings I grew up with in my practical upbringing.
Aside from that, I'm distracting myself with the funny stuff on facebook (see below), reading a lot and have been talking to my brother a lot. We have something in common again, being old and alone. Oh yes, Boomer moved to the west coast for a job he'd be an ass not to take. So I'm entirely single again.
Billy still has an enormous job in front of him. The garage is packed wall to wall, from Mac's hoarding. The full stand-up freezer is surrounded by cases of foods that are now too old to eat and nobody's been able to get to the freezer for several years. It's gonna take a dumpster. And she'd told me the worst place was the attic, which he hasn't looked in yet. One bite at a time. He's too busy to fall apart. He's in the market for a motorcycle. The same make of bike he had back in the 70s now sells for 23 grand! Damn! I've got 2 minds about it. I'm thrilled to get old Billy back, and scared as hell he'll be on a bike at this point in his health. But I can't tell him what to do. If he can still hold a bike up, he'll get it. I know he won't be suicidal. Or I have to believe that anyway.
Emmet has recovered and is his silly dogness again. Typing that made my shoulders drop just now. That was a scary while there but he seems to be okay. Strider isn't sleeping enough, but otherwise okay.
I've also reverted to sick foods of childhood-
tea, 7Up, Campbell's chickynoodle, crackers and cheese. Which didn't make things better either time. It's just what I got, not what I should've had. But I haven't had it in me to cook things. And food in general has been pretty iffy. My tonsils are up too, and my ears hurt. The earthquake effect is back, too. It's quite a showy thing, a dramatic flu.
Nonetheless, the minute I show an interest in food, I'll make a health soup and eat potatoes and yogurt til I'm hale.
Well, It's midnight now and I'm hoping my stomach is going to stay uneruptive. So while I have the window of time, I'm off to bed. Will do better about being in touch.
The Door Is Ajar.
6 days ago