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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Touchy Tortie

(with apologies to Hans Christian Anderson)

There once was a touchy tortie
With fur that was patchy and chewed.
The other cats in surrounding flats said,
"Tsk! Just eat your food!
"Tsk! Just eat, tsk-tsk!
"Just eat, tsk-tsk!
"Just eat your food!"

This poor little touchy tortie,
Had her head in a plastic cone,
The other cats in surrounding flats said,
"Leave your fur alone."
"Leave your fur,
"Just leave your fur,
"Just leave your fur alone!"
And she crept with a slink and a waddle and a stink,
From the hydrocortisone.

All through the daytimes, she hid herself away,
Ashamed of her neurosis,
Afraid of what kitties would say...
All through the nighttimes, she worried for her fate,
Til she forgot to chew herself
And only food she ate.
Then the one she owned took off the cone,
And with it went the weight,
And she held her head up straight!

"I'm not such a touchy tortie,
"With my fur all patchy and chewed!"
For in fact, those cats in surrounding flats said,
"We've been a little rude.
"We've been a bit,
"We've been a bit,
"We've been a little rude."
Not a creep with a slink and a waddle and a stink,
But a beautiful tortie with a lovely coat of fur,
And her head held peaceful and high.
"Say, who's a touchy tortie, not I!"


Anonymous said...

Aw....that was quick. She learns well. Just keep that cone on hand in case the touchy tortie comes back.

Austan said...

It's a test run. She was so miserable in the cone and had stopped the behaviors...but we'll see. I have an eye on her.

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...



Why do puddy cats have mood swings?

'Cause they're all little parasitical sociopathic monsters, that's why.

Never trust a cat, no matter how "cuddly" they appear.

The Elephant's Child said...

You captured the rhythm of the original sooooo well. My feet were dancing as I read.
I am glad that the Beest is out of purgatory. Don't they do guilt well?

CarrieBoo said...

AWEsome possum!