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Sunday, June 19, 2011

La Vieille Salope

The saga of neighborly war goes on. Aside from taking down her religious shrine in our hall, all else remains the same. She had her doc write a letter saying she's hearing impaired (I had asked if that was an issue and was told it wasn't); she now has free rein to be as loud as she likes. And I figure, if she can't hear squat, then I'm giving up life in headphones and turning up the volume to drown her assmouth out.

Which works when she's indoors. Every single decent friggin day she's on the porch laying on her litter for at least 4 hours during which her mouth runs at any living thing- bird, bug, cat, chipmunk, anything. She has a geriatric posse who come by to lend Xian fellowship and support in her persecution in the form of caustic gossip. I've taken to shutting my window with as much force and noise as possible when the Weird Sisters start in. I have wild imaginings of sneaking a big bubbling cauldron out there to complete the scene.

But really, after living in the tenements and hovels I've survived, this is just an annoyance. I'll get used to it, or not. It's actually getting to the point of being funny. My luck, I'll eventually grow to like her (a lot of my friends are people I couldn't stand at first) and then she'll croak.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

Hell, leave the window open and crank up Ozzy or Marilyn Manson. Rob Zombie would be good too. Just aim a speaker out the window. If you can do it without being seen- throw a stink bomb under their chairs. Which way does her door open?? There's something you could do to keep her IN the apartment... :D LMAO just thinking about the possibilities!

Austan said...

Hahaha!! Today she was serenaded by NIN, Zep, Mumford & Sons, ELP, 2Beethoven sonatas, King Crimson, some Monty Python songs and Black Sabbath. I wish I could've seen her face. She went indoors when "Ironman" started! :D