This is an adventure. Doing test runs, choosing things to wear, trying out hairdos...even the diet change, all adventures in themselves. It's gotten bigger than meeting Greg, as I've found most things I embark on do. You start out with a certain purpose in mind with one motivation and find yourself in changes you didn't expect.
The diet change is tremendous. I look healthier than I have in years. It's still an experiment, balancing veggies and meat, taking plenty of fluids. But my outlook on food is almost a 180. Instead of "what I feel like having" it's about what'd be best for me. Food is the fuel that runs the engine. That's all. After 50+ years of eating disorders (and I've had every one of them) and too many years as a cook, this is peaceful. Which doesn't mean it's easy. It isn't, at times. But the rewards are astounding. All my clothing is baggy on me. I feel better, sleep better. Can't say the pain's any less but that's life. Perhaps as I thin down it will be, perhaps not. It's a different issue. The main thing is that my feet and legs don't swell up anymore, I smile when I look in the mirror and I have way more energy. This works for me. And I don't "feel deprived". What arrogance, what entitlement, when there are people starving, to say that one "feels deprived" while being able to choose what one eats. If you even have a choice you're not deprived.
It's a minor miracle to watch your body morph. Though it's not all miracles and wonderment. I have concerns about how saggy my skin will be in the end. But that's not right now. I'll figure that out when I get there. Right now I'm happy to see my leg muscles standing out, my bones reemerging, my shape coming back. It won't be a thirty-something body when I'm done, if I'm ever done. But it'll be the best fifty-something body I can manage.
Really, the best part is to not have food issues anymore. 7 1/2 weeks in (I have to stop and count it now), and in that short time it's been quite the turnabout. Yet another thing to thank Greg and Strider for. Because if he wasn't touring, if she hadn't gotten the tickets, this may never have happened. For all this and much, much more, may the Gods make me truly thankful.
The Door Is Ajar.
5 days ago