One year ago I was kicking the opiates I'd taken for about 4 years. I started out Cold Turkey, but cooler heads prevailed (friends who happen to be nurses freaked out at me and my pharmacist Jim freaked out at my doc- who didn't care) and I withdrew a little more gradually, over 3 weeks. My daughter still laughs at the emails I was sending but doesn't tell me what was in them. I kinda live in dread that they'll surface some day but what the hell. Can't be any nuttier than what I was posting on my blog.
I don't remember a lot. So much has happened since then! But when I look back at a blogpost from a year ago http://austanspace.blogspot.com/2011/02/later-that-same-day.html
it comes back pretty clearly. Too clearly.
I don't endorse Cold Turkey. I've done it a couple of times now and it's never a good experience. Though I'm the type who laughs through a lot of it, there were horrors too. The severe physical withdrawals from being dopesick can kill. While I know that's how I do it and make it last, I don't recommend it. Somehow- unremembered exactly how, as I was alone most of the time- I broke my collarbone during it, which went untreated. I recall having to make several cups of coffee in succession all the time because my arm would jerk out and throw the cup, or my hand would just open and I'd drop it.
Many good things have come after. Living here and getting out of the "luxury downtown living" of the Brooks House. Overcoming pain without using drugs. The entire Oz trip that came with Irene. Bonding so closely with Strider again. My friends rallying to move me twice in six months. The joy of blogging, which really only started with detoxing a year ago. Until then I'd blog in a year what I now blog in a month. And getting Hildebeest, who's now more a part of me than black clothing. What's left of my brain is, well as Tim Minchin says, "It's not perfect but it's mine."
A year without dope is a year of real life. In Technicolor. It's good.
2 days ago