It's been 3 months since kicking the opiates. Finally, my stomach is good. Indigestion only happens for a good reason, it's been several weeks since I spent a whole morning in the bathroom and so far it seems my whole digestive tract has healed. All the effects are gone. Even the leg cramps. I do get headaches now, which I hadn't had for years but that's normal.
The pain is, well, painful. A couple of Aleve doesn't do much and I don't expect miracles. My joints are bad; bad enough to put me outta the work force so it would be stupid to think I won't have huge pain. I've been thru the "pain management" route and that's useless. I've had all the shots, tests and meds I'm ever going to take; it's just dealing with it in a sane way now. I had a "counselor" once who suggested orange dots be stuck up around my apartment as focus points. Oh yeah, how freakin useful. Nerves are on fire and bones are grinding but orange dots will help. Why aren't people who actually have pain in the pain business? I'm not talking about "support groups" (kill me now)- I'm talking about people who've done it all already and have experience and tools to share beyond Western med standard treatment. I'm totally sure I'm not unique and I could use a mentor. But that's not what we get in this country. You're left to go blindly forward alone. If you want anything beyond the usual, you'd better have a bankroll.
I am lucky to have Physical & Occupational Therapists in my family. I can't afford one of my own but as I see weakness or problems I ask them for recommendations and get exercises to help. But a lot of poor people aren't that lucky. Healthcare in this country, for the most part, sucks. Unless you're rich.
It seemed to take a long time to get to full pain; I suppose the long term drug use and the effects of going cold turkey held off some of it until it was all out of my system. For a few days a couple weeks back the pain was enormous and I gritted my teeth so hard I broke a tooth. I'm thinking I'm at full pain now.
But if this is as bad as it gets I'll deal. I'll still take the pain over being a zombie.
I'll Fly Away
1 day ago