Breakfast is Served!

I am mocked for my breakfasts. For years my breakfasts consisted of several cups of coffee and many cigarettes and nobody mocked me. But now when I open, say, a box of frozen spinach or a can of mackeral, the laughter is long and loud.

They don't understand being brought up in Swedish and Scottish cuisines. My cultural heritages have no finite limits on when a food must be eaten except for its expiration date, and that may be negotiable.

We don't waste. We don't even waste waste. Look at Surstromming. Or lutefisk. Or haggis. We have the most creative cooking on Earth! Not to mention the satisfaction of thrift- which is, I'm convinced, genetic. My roommates were always amazed at my ability to make a full dinner from the smallest bits of food, which I thank my Father for teaching me. There are few who can take a can of sardines, a cup of leftover rice and some marmalade and feed 4 people.

And who made these rules that you can't break fast with a liverwurst sandwich? I say eat what you feel like eating, and if that's roast beef and horseradish at 6 a.m., to hell with everyone and eat it. Let them laugh with their miserable bowls of cereal. See how far that gets them.