There are a lot of things I want to do, now that the friggin opiates are gone. I have ambition again. The question is how do I do them, as a gimp, with limited energy and resources? Driving is gone. I'm totally unreliable to make plans, because from day to day I don't know if I'll be able to do anything physical at all. Doing things for others, which is what I want to do, means reliabilty. That's not possible. I can't be physically present all the time and that's what peep need most. Do you know that you can't be a nun if disabled? It's true. I tried. Technically you can't even be among the Masons if you're disabled. If you can't go to the meetings that charities run, you can't really participate. So hooking up with do-gooders is even a challenge. But you can always find something/some way to contribute. You have to be creative. You have to think beyond your gimpdom to want you can do, not what you can't. Then find places and ways to use what it is you can do. There's always a way to help. Even if it's only forwarding emails, do it. Get people involved. The upside of being a gimp is that disabled peep can't do much for others- they're usually busy with their own stuff- and it's inspirational to the abled to see a gimp doing charity work. Humans have both compassion and competitiveness. And guilt. Think of Jerry Lewis' parade of MD kids doing things nobody expected. I remember watching and sobbing that there I was, entirely "normal", and here these kids were doing things I took for granted- and I started doing charity works. That was 1976. Maybe things haven't gotten much better, but it's not for lack of trying. The only thing I can say for sure about life is that if you never give up you never lose. So keep trying. You can rise beyond gimpdom.