Saturday, April 16, 2011
Strider and I were talking about fears last night. Luckily, I didn't have the classic fears that usually make you nuts- if anything, I had weirdo fears. Depictions of lions used to scare me to paralysis. I fainted on a school trip to the MMA in front of a painting of a lion. Our clawfooted tub made me sing at the top of my lungs as a kid. Even into my 40s, upon seeing any depiction of a lion my throat would close and I'd break out in a sweat. So I innoculated myself to them. A small ceramic lion on my desk, a Scottish flag, a box with a lion's face. I got used to them. After a bit I saw the beauty, not the fear. Next comes being in the water with others. When I was 5 years old I nearly drowned; none of my family came to my rescue (though they were right there) . Ever since I've been happy to swim alone (which I didn't really learn til I taught myself at the age of 22) but not ever with any human near me, even my husband. This needs correction before I croak. How ridiculous is it to not fear death but to fear other people being in the same body of water? Unreasoned fear kills the mind and soul. It undermines confidence and restricts life. Get rid of it.