Today is painy and as usual it's nobody's fault but mine. I get a wild hair and go, and then want things done and keep going, and hurt myself. It's stubbornness and stupidity. which I seem to have in abundance. Being stubborn can serve one well (and has served me well many times). You can get things accomplished through sheer will. But there's a blind side to it, which is stupidity. Which is when you hurt yourself.
The stupidity part comes in when you know you're going too far in whatever way- too much exertion, too little sleep, pushing yourself to do things you know you shouldn't- and you keep doing it. Maybe it's a necessary part of life. Who'd get anything done if they knew they'd end up hurt by it? Who'd ever get married, or have kids, or even keep living if they knew all the pain they'd have down the road from it? Not me; I've said for years that if I'd known all that would happen ahead of time, I'da offed myself while I was a teenager still having fun.
But there's always the chance that things will be good. That elusive brass ring we all want is a prime motivator. Happiness and contentment are, I think, needs built into humans. The right to pursue happiness is written into our country's Constitution. It gets overlooked a lot, and some bastard is always around to spread misery, but it was important enough to those revolutionaries that it was written into the laws of this land, and I respect that. A lot. I wish more people would remember it. It's profound and goes to the heart of the human condition. A person's own happiness is singular. Sure there are concepts that bolster contentment- freedom, peace, love, lack of want- but the recipe for one's own happiness is a personal blend. Therein lies a lot of humankind's conflicts.