It's like I've got two minds right now. Part of me is trying to figure out how to coordinate moving back in from here and part of me is trying to figure out what I want to do with Strider since our time here together is quite shortened. And both are nebulous, a sea of things floating in my head that I can't grab anything from to start.
Hanging with Strider is what it's always been, we chat, relax, laugh. I've slept here like I haven't slept in years. And consequently a peace has settled in that leaves me uncharacteristically quiet and content. Her ex torques me but that's another story. Even he can't seem to rattle my cage that much. Maybe I'm shell-shocked. In any event, this is a me I don't think I've ever seen before.
But the news that I'll be leaving long before anyone thought has the stomach motor rumbling now. I thought we'd have another month or so- my temporary change of address is in til December 1st and so far there's been nothing forwarded, even! There's a list of things to coordinate and I don't know how much warning I'll have to get it all done. And I still haven't found the phone I bought.
It's all academic until I have a firm date to move back in. I have no idea how this'll all work; the "pod" has to be brought back onsite and someone else's belongings may well be packed in behind mine; my furniture and books and stuff only filled the front half of the thing, so someone else may have to move back before I can., or all their stuff may need to be taken out, my stuff removed and their stuff put back in. I don't know. Then, I have to coordinate the arrival of the bed. It'd be nice if that could happen on the day I move back but I'm not sure that can happen. Then I have to coordinate the kind folks who are storing my fragile and non-"pod"-able belongings, and Strider may have to take a day off to drive me back to Vermont, and I need to ask for helpers to move my stuff in again. And there's the re-starting of mail, telephone, cable and internet...oy. So the motor idles, and revs in a low state of panic now and then.
Half of me is over the hills and far away, half of me sits here in Strider's living room, planning a nice pot roast for dinner.
The Door Is Ajar.
5 days ago