Tomorrow marks 4 weeks on the high protein highway. I've certainly lost weight. I do feel better. And I would kill, yes, kill, for a plate of lasagna or chinese food.
Instead of leaping off the meatwagon, I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it. I made a commitment and come hell or high water we're meeting Greg in April. That's the bottom line. If I don't carry through, I'll totally hate myself.
So it's time to take a minute and look at what's eating at me. First of all it's no help to have someone remark that they "can't believe" I don't "even have ketchup in the house". And to leave behind a pound of truffles - the same truffles I've been parrying with for a month and successfully ignored. Then there's the fact that everyone you see or talk to or email with brings up what good food they've just had, or are having, or will be having. And then there's the tv, where every 6 minutes is a food commercial.
These are all everyday things and normal (well, maybe not the truffles) but right now are really annoying issues. It's like any mention of food looms huge in my head. It doesn't help that I'm sick of meat, eggs, cheese and romaine. Even bacon. Who gets sick of bacon? Me. It doesn't help that it's the end of the month and there's little left in the fridge anyway. It doesn't help that it's winter and the bleakness is starting to set in. It doesn't help that I'm starting to feel very sorry for myself while everyone else eats whatever they want to get through the winter doldrums.
So I gotta set some limits. For now at least, I gotta stop anyone talking about food to me. If a food commercial comes on, mute it or change the channel. I have to work on my attitude. On Friday new meats, fish and cheeses and real coffee will be in the house. I only have to make it til then. Maybe I can't make it forever, but I can make it for 3 more days.
And it's 82 1/2 days to Greg. Gods help me.
The Door Is Ajar.
5 days ago