Considering there was nothing happening today, no aide, no HUD, no Shire workers, I decided it would be a nap day. I read for a while (Hitchens' last book, Arguably, is wonderful) and fell into a deep comfortable sleep for 3 hours.
The Beest enjoyed it, curling up in one place or another on or around me. And it felt really good to my body, as if I hadn't slept in weeks and was finally getting a great hunk of relaxation. But for the daymares. If I sleep during the day it's bad dreams time these last few years. Not horrific (I don't have those anymore, hallelujah) just bad. Like today's- first I couldn't find my car and then kept losing what belongings I had with me as I walked all over town in a snowstorm trying to find everything. It was pointless and annoying as a video game. The second dream was so rotten I woke myself up from it. I dreamt Bernie Sanders suddenly died and right after reading the blurb and telling Stevil (in my dream), I refused to be in any more of it and opened my eyes. There was the Beest, staring in my face.
Maybe I need to sleep during the day til this works out. There was one February- 1984? -when my friend Evan and I barely ever left our beds but to work. And we skived off that as much as possible, calling each other every couple of days to make sure we were alive and say we were still exhausted. I don't recall that marathon as being full of bad dreams. So this is my plan for February. Sleep like Sleeping Beauty. Sleep until I'm not tired anymore. Sleep until the daymares stop or my enthusiasm comes back, whichever happens first.
Yes, Winter has come. It may be bizarrely warm and nothing like a normal February Eve, but it has come. And I'm going to hibernate.
The Door Is Ajar.
5 days ago