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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'll Take the Pain & Keep My Brain, Thanks

Nearly six weeks thru detox and still detoxing. Or as my old friend at
puts it, "oxycleaned". Hahaha!

The effects of detoxing are still on, though not as severe. Food doesn't make me hurl anymore and I've actually been trying to encourage my appetite by simmering onions and wine. It smells good but I can't get my face to actually eat regular food. It's still slices of cheese or RB, some yogurt or cottage cheese and crackers here and there. Aside from the stomach issues, the nose and sinuses are a real mess. But all in all, it's so much better than what I've been living in for the last 4 years.

The pain is full force. I only take an Aleve twice a day now. It takes the edge off, but not a lot. I'm working on not making obnoxious noises as I go about my biz. Nobody, including me, wants to hear grunts and groans.

All I care about and am focused on is getting my brain back. I read every night and in the morning work on recalling what I read the night before. No, I don't have any plan or guidance in this. My doc dismissed me with a short script for alprazalam and the suggestion of imodium, so I'm winging the rest as best I can. Obviously she doesn't know much about detox. Anyway, reading at night and recalling in the morning is how I got thru school; it should work to restimulate the old pathways.

The biggest and best of all of it is to laugh again. Really laugh, belly laugh, to the point of crying. That's something I haven't been able to do in years. The opiates dulled my humor with everything else. It's a wonder I have friends left after these years! But I guess that's what we have friends for, to get down the road no matter what may be in it, and let us go thru what we have to. I can't wait to hang and laugh with everyone again. I'm throwing a helluva housewarming party when I get moved.


MoonRaven said...

It sounds like you are doing some good and hard stuff.

May you find ways to laugh, laugh, laugh. You've certainly earned it.

Austan said...

Thanks, Moony, you're a good friend.